The Rudest Book Ever

    LOVE- What a wonderful word! When we hear this word, it evokes a variety of emotions in us. It might be one of our most beautiful moments, one of our unfulfilled recollections, or something else entirely. It varies from one person to the next. Consider a circumstance in which you adore someone and devote all of your time and affection to them. However, the same person is unconcerned about you. Any effort you make goes in vain. How does it feel? Being rejected by love is one of the most painful feelings a person can experience. As a result, it causes a slew of mental issues such as despair, rage, stress, and more. This applies to many parts of our lives, not just relationships. What can be done about it? How can we increase our happiness? Is there any solution?

    Yes. There are various options, and Shwetabh Gangwar discusses them all in detail in his book "The Rudest Book Ever". As the title suggests, this book is rude where the author addresses each solution directly, and we may feel our feelings are injured in some areas. Accepting the truth is never easy. Isn't that so?

    Rejections happen all the time in our lives. However, rejections in the early years can be devastating. Because of rejections, one may come to any of the below conclusions:

1. I'm going to accept the fact that I'm a loser.

2. I am unnoticed by the rest of the world. As a result, I shall become successful in order to be noticed. I'm going to show them. 

3. I'm going to declare that the world is unjust.

    Which of the above three approaches do you believe is the most effective? Is the second point seem to be valid? No, not at all. That person will be successful solely to demonstrate to others that they are someone. The drive to prove anything to others necessitates the assumption that these others care, which they do not.

    Have you ever felt like you know you shouldn't be with someone, but you just can't seem to get rid of your feelings for them? You can’t stop chasing them. You can’t move on from that person. Why does it happen? According to the author, we can't, since a part of us believes that their connection with our existence will provide us ultimate satisfaction. We feel this way because of the happiness we once shared with them, which our minds consider to be "the best feeling ever". As a result, we concentrate on them, despite the fact that their presence is currently torturing us, ruining our self-respect, mental health, and overall sense of peacefulness in our lives.

    When we are rejected by someone, we often think to ourselves, "She/he doesn't want to be with me because she/he is fantastic." This idea, too, does not make sense, according to the author, because saying so would imply that we are inferior. It incorporates self-degradation, as well as the assassination of self-belief, self-esteem, and self-worth.

    "Rejections are Normal," the author claim. However, how do we accept it? How can we rationally view rejections from those we care about? The author goes on to say that someone rejecting us is not a reflection of us. We don't have any data, and we won't be able to find out why we were rejected. It's possible that the person who rejected us doesn't know what they want in a relationship and from their partner; they'll probably just go with their instinct. Even if they know what they want, there's a chance they don't know whether or not it's right for them.

    What really matters to us is whether or not we know what we're looking for. And, more significantly, are we sure that whatever we're seeking is healthy for us? We need to know who we are in order to do this. This will help us select what kind of person we want in our lives. The more we understand ourselves, the more empowered we are to make better decisions.

    In today's world, we are chasing a fantasy. Millions of delusional people are pretending to be fantasy characters, further separating them from their true selves. We are a delusional fool who keeps deciding to date fantasy characters. The author also gives a few examples of what these fantastical characters will look like.

1. They appear to be well-dressed and appealing.

2. They are doing anything in their life that distinguishes them

3. They make complete sentences with almost no grammatical faults, indicating that they are excellent speakers or writers.

4. A lovely actor, actress, or dancer.

    Sooner or later, the outcome may be, that either they are going to be bad to us, or we are going to be that way to them. Because relationships are a thing of reality, not fantasy.

The author discusses a variety of reasons why people get into toxic relationships.

1. We believe we will never meet someone as attractive as they are.

2. We will never be able to love someone else since no one understands us as they do.

3. We will never find another individual who loves us.

4. We've invested so much time and effort in this. So we can't back out or we'll appear like a fool.

5. We claim we're ready to quit at any moment, that we don't care anymore, yet it keeps continuing.

6. We trust they are who they claim to be.

7. They require our assistance since we are the only ones who understand what is best for them. As a result, by pushing us away, they are harming themselves.

8. We are the only ones they have. We are repairing him/her because he/she is a broken person.

    We may feel strange after reading all of this. However, in the vast majority of cases, this is the case. The majority of the time, we cling to the notion that "they will change". We silently believe that with our patience and unwavering love, they would alter and reform. What occurs is that they are occasionally polite to us. We interpret their actions as evidence of their concern for us and persuade ourselves, "This is who they truly are". Of course, this is nonsense. The truth is, we aren’t prepared to end this. We've mentally prepared ourselves to keep taking their nonsense. We've been used to it. 

    The author questions us if our lives are completely established. If that's not the case, why are we striving to make someone's life better? Why don't we take charge of our own lives? Stop pitying others, says the author. Everyone over the age of twenty-five, including us, has some major scars. One should mind one’s own business. It doesn't work if we use the idea that "if we fix someone, they will love us”. Because that is not how people work. They are individuals with their own thoughts. People will be doing whatever they want.

So, how can we get out of a toxic relationship? The author outlines five steps that we can follow. 

Step 1: Make the decision to leave once and for all. 

Step 2: We must see them as oppressors, even if they are well-liked and regarded as one of the nicest people in the world. It is essential that we recognize them as oppressors if we are to achieve freedom.

Step 3: Seek assistance from capable and compassionate individuals.

Step 4: One should invest entirely in getting to know one’s 'self,' because it will open up a world of incredible possibilities for our future.

Step 5: The most critical step is to never look back once we've left them. Don't try to figure out what's going on with them, how they're doing, or what they're posting on social media. We need to put an end to that chapter of our life.

    This book also covers topics such as avoiding being trapped in a bad relationship, dealing with rejections of all types, changing our opinions of people, how seeking approval and acceptance kills our originality, the reality about social media influencers, and much more. Some books will make us happy, while others will make us sad, and some others will inspire us to take action. After reading this book, I had all of these mixed emotions. This book, without a doubt, addresses the most important aspects of everyone's life that are not taught openly in our culture. It's a straightforward process.

Do give it a read!