Reasons to Stay Alive

Who better to write about depression than someone who has experienced it firsthand? In Reasons to Stay Alive, Matt Haig shares his deeply personal story of battling depression and anxiety, and how he slowly found his way out of it.

The book begins at a harrowing moment — Matt standing on the edge of a cliff, contemplating suicide. But he turns back. That single act of stepping away becomes the start of a long journey toward healing. He lived with his girlfriend, Andrea, and had a supportive family — his parents and sister lived in another town. Yet even their love could not immediately pull him out of the darkness he was engulfed in.

Matt explains how depression is often misunderstood and dismissed by others. While he tried medication, it offered only temporary relief. He describes how his suffering didn’t just impact him — it also deeply affected those around him. In one particularly moving moment, when his parents visited, he tried to act normal. But when his father gently squeezed his shoulder, tears welled up in Matt’s eyes. He did not want to cry, especially not in front of his dad. It’s moments like these that illustrate the silent weight of depression — both physical and emotional.

He confronts the toxic idea that “boys don’t cry,” pointing out the tragic consequences of such societal beliefs. Statistically, far more men than women die by suicide. Mental illness is often seen as a sign of weakness in men, which stops many from seeking help. Matt urges everyone — men and women alike — to talk, listen, and normalize conversations about mental health. Depression isn’t something to be ashamed of. It’s a human experience.

The book also delves into the science behind depression — the chemical imbalances, the way the pharmaceutical industry capitalizes on it, and how society often turns a blind eye. Matt describes depression as a demon — one that loves him and doesn’t want to let go. He lists its symptoms: fatigue, low self-esteem, loss of appetite, irritability, introversion, and more. A simple task, like walking to the nearby store, felt impossible for him.

He powerfully shows that depression doesn’t discriminate — it affects the rich and poor alike, and even historical figures like Abraham Lincoln and Winston Churchill.

Matt’s love for Andrea is a shining light in the narrative. She was his support system, his anchor, his “mind-double” and “life-sitter.” Their love — both romantic and platonic — is portrayed with such warmth and sincerity. She was the person he could truly open up to, someone who helped fill the void left by fear and sadness.

One of the biggest tools that helped him recover was reading. Matt became obsessed with books. Every book, he says, is the product of a human mind — a treasure map that sometimes points back to the reader’s own self. Travel also helped. Though initially terrifying, a surprise trip to Paris helped him feel more “normal” than he had in a long time. Meditation, yoga, and running also played key roles in his healing. Interestingly, running mimicked the physical symptoms of panic — a racing heart, sweating — but gave them a healthy outlet.

Matt reflects on how the world is designed in ways that often worsen depression. Why? Because happiness isn’t profitable. If we were content with what we have, we wouldn’t buy more. But true life, he says, lies not in possessions, but in people — the ones we love and who love us back. No one stays alive for an iPhone. We stay alive for the connections it helps us keep.

There’s so much more in this book — how Matt learned to socialize again, stories shared by fellow depressives, what made things worse, what made things better, and a list of 40 pieces of advice for living. The writing is clear, relatable, and filled with raw emotion. Matt’s natural storytelling keeps you engaged from beginning to end.

This book is a powerful reminder that depression is an illness — just like any other. It’s okay to experience it. It’s okay to talk about it. As Matt writes, “I am you and you are me. We are alone, but not alone. We are trapped by time, but also infinite. Made of flesh, but also stars.”

Do give it a read. It might just change the way you see yourself — and the world.